You reckoned that it would be cheaper to stowaway as freight, rather than to buy a seat on the trans-Atlantic flight, so you stuffed yourself into an extra-large Remington suitcase. Unbeknowns to you, your baggage (i.e. you!) was placed on the wrong flight and you ended up in Buenos Aires, Argentina. When your bag is eventually opened, you are confronted by Alexander the Great, who demands to know (in Macedonian, of course) what you have done with his falchion. He doesn't look real happy. How are you going to get out of this predicament?